I was at the mall with Milo and Carrie yesterday. Milo and I were in the kid's play area while Carrie was shopping. A little 6-year-old girl came up to us and started playing with Milo, hugging him, and talking to me. She was a cute, talkative girl. We were having a good time when she blind-sided me with the following conversation:

6-year-old girl: I had to have a vinegar bath.

Me: You did? Why is that?

6-year-old girl: For my vagina because I pee too much!

What does one do while trapped in an elevator for 41 hrs.? Watch the following clip to find out. It elapses security camera footage of man trapped for nearly two days:

http://www.newyorker.com/online/video/2008/04/21/080421_elevators/?yrail

I'd go insane if it were me.

Leaving for Kansas City and Hotlanta tomorrow.

My week of poker was pretty rough. I was grinding it out on the $2-$4 tables for most of the week (this is where you can only bet and raise in increments of $2 or $4, known as Limit Hold-Em). Playing at such low betting limits can really test your patience, not only is most of your competition either new or poor players, but they never fold and will try to catch cards on you. If you're not as lucky as someone you are playing against you can lose money fast and might as well be at the slot machine.

I entered a tournament on Wed. night and had a rough time of it there as well.

Thurs. night we (the band and I) were hanging out at the hotel bar and met a young poker pro from Philly. He had a pregnant wife at home and would drive down to AC two or three days a week to play cards. He said on a good week he cleared a grand or so and on a bad week he broke even. Not too shabby. He explained that the No-Limit Hold 'Em game was a much better one to play in than the $2-$4 game.

So Friday night I gave it a shot and wound up being involved in the biggest single pot I've ever been involved in.

Proceed carefully lest you think me a degenerate gambler! Some poker knowledge needed as well:

I buy in to the No-Limit game for $100. I play extremely tight (only putting my money in with great starting cards) and after 30 min. or so I'm down $40. I get dealt two 6s in late position. There were about 3 callers in front of me, all of who limped in (meaning they called for the minimum $2 with nobody raising the pot). I called with my 66 even though its a fairly strong hand. On the flop comes 9 3 6. I had flopped three sixes, three of a kind is a very powerful hand. The action checks around to me and I bet $10. Two people call me. I'm wondering what they have, I figure somebody has the 9 but if he did, why wouldn't he bet? Maybe his 9 is very weak and he doesn't have a kicker. The other person I figure is trying to draw to a straight as there is no flush possibilities on the board. The turn card comes and is a King. The first to act bets out a big $40, the other person folds and the action is to me. Had he just made his King? The only hands I would worry about would be two 9's or two Kings, both would make a higher three of a kind than I had. But he had either hand he would've raised pre-flop to protect these very strong cards. I figure I was good and I moved all-in with the rest of my money. All of it.

I turn over my 6s and the other guy rolls his eyes. He turns over K3 for two pair. The only card he could draw on the river to beat me would be another King. A Jack comes and I take the pot. I count my chips and I've just won around $200. One one hand of poker.

I play for a little while longer and take down another small pot but I had to get up early the next morning so I took my winnings and left. I came home just about even from where I started.

Free poker, not bad.

My week in Atlantic City was pretty uneventful. Besides playing a bunch of poker I basically walked up and down the boardwalk during the day and put down a few with the boys at night. (Fun trivia fact: did you know all of the properties in Monopoly were named after streets in Atlantic City? True!). The crowds were okay but in casinos like this most of the audience are comped and all the casino really cares about is making sure the show is no longer than 65 min. so they can get everyone back out to the slot machines.

But my return home was a killer. We played a show Friday night and I got to sleep around 1 AM only to wake up 3.5 hrs. later to make our 5 AM bus. We needed to get back to LA as quickly as possible and the earliest flight we could get was out of JFK airport in Brooklyn which is about 2.5 hrs. from Atlantic City. So we drive to the airport and check in in time for our 9 AM flight back home. (And who do I run in to at JFK? Carrie's friends from England, is that one mutha' of a coincidence or what?). We land at LAX at 1 PM, I drive to my office to pick up my bass and change then head to the Universal City Hilton for a 3 PM soundcheck. The show is at 8:30 PM and I finally head home after that. I've been recovering ever since.

Now I have three days of rest before heading to Kansas City and Atlanta on Thurs.

I'm sure you've all heard about this crazy beating that happened in Florida last week where eight girls ganged-up on one poor girl and gave her a concussion amongst other injuries. The morons giving the beating videotaped the incident so they could post it online thereby giving the police all of the evidence they need to convict them.

You've probably seen short edited clips on the news but there is a new video on YouTube that shows what went on in the house before the beating occurred. If you haven't seen it you should check it out, it really does shed some new light on the entire matter.

Atlantic City.

Yep.

I've played poker for over 5 hrs. and am up a whopping $15. I'm going to turn pro soon.

I had a really odd gig last night. A piano player friend of mine called me to play a birthday party for this drummer, she wasn't really sure of the details. After exiting the freeway and getting closer to the gig it didn't take long to realize I was in an Asian neighborhood. I figured out from all of the Asian characters on business signs that it was either Chinese or Tawainese (well, that and the drummer's last name was Chen).

I arrived at the venue and met Mr. Chen and his friends. I don't know if you've ever been in an Asian place of business here in the U.S. but they all seem to have a similar vibe; gaudy decor, white Christmas lights, black tile in the bathroom, and the smell of some sort of cleaner that must be exclusive to Asian businesses. I quickly realized that my pianist friend and I would be the 'ringers' for a jam session in honor of Mr. Chen's birthday. It wasn't going to be the type of jazz gig we expected.

So we started playing, I don't know how to say this without sounding mean but they were pretty bad and pretty hard to play with. Everyone was super nice so the gig wasn't a total drag but boy oh boy, that's the first time I've played contemporary Christian worship songs in Korean. I was trying to not laugh the whole time, not because of their musicianship but because of the absurdity of the situation.

All in all I had a pretty good time.

Tax time didn't turn out to be so bad. Sure we owe but not as much as we have in years past. There was a brief moment of panic when the accountant asked for our babysitter's social security number (to write off daycare expenses) and neither Carrie or I was sure that she had one. WHOA! But everything was cool and on the up-and-up.

I have some time off this week to catch up on some reading and watch Mr. Milo. And Carrie has a friend from England in town who we're going to spend some time with. I better get all of the fun I can in before I leave for a week in Atlantic City next Saturday where the only (and I mean ONLY) fun to be had is poker and booze.

Even though I arrived back in L.A. on Sunday I haven't felt like the tour was over until today. Tuesday I drove to Palm Springs for another gig with Tyrell then drove back yesterday to do a gig with a great local drummer and pianist at a local jazz club.
It is good to be back. I was prepared for Milo to be stand-offish with me at first but both in FL and home he gave me a big hug and really made me feel missed. It's really unbelievable to watch him walk (even though he's more of a handful these days).

Taxes
Getting back home after a long tour means being thrust back in to a life you've abandoned while you were gone. At the moment this means taxes. It is SUCH A DRAG doing my taxes. If I were smart and organized I'd have a computer program that I'd update throughout the year but I'm so good at procrastinating why not wait until April and pour over forms and receipts at the last possible moment? This is what I'm faced with today. Since my income is untaxed I've owed as much as $6,000 in the past. Last year I was able to get my untaxed federal income down to $0, let's hope I can do it again.

Books
Last year I didn't read so much as I was in a sleep-deprived fog for most of the year and anytime I picked up a book I immediately fell asleep, a trait I picked up from my grandmother. But this year I've been reading quite a bit. I read Choke by Chuck Pahlaniuk (author of Fight Club) because there is a movie coming out soon. The book was good (not as good as others of his I've read) and I have no clue how its going to translate.

Afterwards I unknowingly (subconsciously?) devoured two books set in (and on some levels about) Las Vegas. I didn't realize the connection until after I had finished them. The fist is without a doubt the best book about poker I've ever read The Professor, the Banker, and the Suicide King: Inside the Richest Poker Game of All Time. It chronicles the story of Andy Beal a Texas billionaire who wants to play the best poker players in the world at the highest stakes. What results is a coalition of lifelong poker pros battling Beal one at a time wagering literally millions of dollars PER HAND. All of the tournament poker on TV is child's play compared to the poker played here. A fantastic read.

The second was the debut novel by Joe McGuiness Jr. The Delivery Man. McGuiness is a disciple of Brett Easton Ellis and this novel is direct ape of Less Than Zero complete with a detached narrative of horrific debauchery and italicized flashbacks. Its about a group of youngsters who start a prostitution ring with high school girls and is a dark and fascinating read. (I know there are a lot Ellis haters out there including my seestah-in-law, here is a great story an interview with him.)

After ripping through all of these short books I picked up Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets a book by David Simon that begat the TV programs Homicide: Life on the streets and The Wire. Since The Wire is over I have to get my Simon fix somewhere.

Back to the taxes. Wish me luck.