Lyman's Social Rantings Pt. 3: The Ambiguous "They"

It's that time again folks, before we get all warm and fuzzy with holiday cheer I need to once again rant about something. This time its the abuse of the word "they."

"They" is a fine pronoun with many uses, but when it is used to make a point by giving some sort of false backup to the abuser that it gets out of control. For example:

Person A: Why didn't you come to the party last night, they said you were going to be there?
Person B: Yeah, I was busy ...
Person A: Oh, because they said you were going to show up.

Now Person A has put Person B in some sort of dilemma by insinuating that the entirety of last night's party were waiting for him to arrive before starting the festivities when in fact there were probably only a couple of people who said B might show. "They" has been used to make Person A's point with ambiguity. But the worst abuse of the ambiguous "they" occurs in two areas: small business transactions and political discussions. Firstly, business:

Customer: "I'd like a Sausage Biscuit please."
Worker: "They won't let you order breakfast past 10:30."

Customer: "Mind if I finish my Coke in the theater?"
Worker: "Oh, they won't let you bring in outside food or drinks."

Customer: "I'd like special of the day please."
Worker: "They ran out of the special earlier."

In this case "they" is used to show how sympathetic the worker is to the customer's plight, "hey, I don't make the rules, they do, I just work here". When the fact is they wear the same golden arches on their breast pocket as the manager which means they have some responsibility as well and should be using the word "we" instead of "they". If the worker really was sympathetic he or she would just wrap up a biscuit and sausage patty for you. Secondly, and probably most annoying of all, is politics:

"They are all crooks!"

"They want to take away all of my rights!"

"They're going to run this country in to the ground!"

These folks use "they" as some sort of rallying point, the whole of the American political system is out to get them and anyone else listening to them. The fact is that you can't find a handful of politicians with the same ideas and agenda, each president is vastly different from the next and even the most crooked of politicians have bigger things on their minds than your problems.

The solution to this problem is a simple one boys and girls, next time you hear the ambiguous "they" being abused simply say this:

"Who are they?"

Guaranteed the person will be at a loss.